‘Holey Moley’: The dumb competition show we need right now

After all we’ve been through in 2020, who would’ve thought that the next thing we encounter is a show with an extreme mini-golf tournament that looks like it was birthed from the union of American Ninja Warrior and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? 

Television is the gift that keeps on giving. 

The show we’re referring to is Holey Moley, an ABC sports competition program created by Chris Culvenor and produced by basketball star Steph Curry. Holey Moley, which premiered in 2019, brings together contestants to battle it out on a miniature golf obstacle course for the chance to be crowned the mini-golf champion. Is it as ridiculous as it sounds? Yes, yes it is. Is it highly entertaining? Yes, yes it is. 

The contestants

Holey Moley brings to its show the cream of the mini-golfing crop. The contestants are self-proclaimed mini-golf enthusiasts and boy are these people enthusiastic, sometimes putting their life on the line in intense challenges while simultaneously trying to get the ball in the hole. The very first episode has a poor woman being body-checked into a field of fake tulips. Twice. 

These contestants join the Holey Moley show from all over the country and are regular people of all different backgrounds and ages. The show’s creator Culvenor noted that most sports competition shows were for fitness enthusiasts while their production team wanted to bring something to the table that all people could participate in. 

The courses

The first season of Holey Moley brought us ten supersized themed holes on its not-so-mini-golf course. The holes included the “Arc de Trigolf”, “Slip N’ Putt”, and “Caddysmack”. Some holes are harder than others, some are more entertaining, like “The Distractor”, a hole where a drill sergeant yells in contestants’ faces as they try to make the shot. 

Each episode sees twelve contestants play three rounds of mini-golf in head-to-head matches with sudden-death outcomes. In the end, three contestants battle it out on “Mt. Holey Moley” for the grand prize. 

The glory

The contestants play for the grand prize, awarded at the end of each episode. The winning mini-golfer receives $25,000, “The Golden Putter” trophy, and — wait for it — the illustrious Holey Moley plaid jacket.

The Holey Moley course is also set with Steph Curry as the resident “golf-pro” who can give the contestants a hand on some difficult holes. On the sidelines the commentators are familiar faces as well, featuring the talents of sportscaster Joe Tessitore and comedian & actor Roy Riggle to keep the show’s commentary informative & amusing. 

While Holey Moley isn’t perhaps the smartest show to brighten our televisions, it’s care-free content for everyone to enjoy. And after all we’ve seen over the past few months, we’re grateful for the distraction. 

Season two of the show premiered on ABC May 15th and has revealed twelve new holes for a whole new round of contestants.