Have a holly jolly laugh at these funny quotes from Christmas movies

One of the many cherished cliches we all take part in during the holiday season is quoting some of our favorite lines from classic Christmas movies. . . even if it’s a movie quote WITHIN a movie quote.

These Christmas movies offer moments & quotes so amazing that the smile on our faces can only be measured by Santa Claus’s belt.

So tell us . . . have you ever caught yourself repeating any of these funny quotes from these classic Christmas movie classics? Take a look and see for yourself. 

Home Alone

1990’s Home Alone tells the story of eight-year-old Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin), who’s accidentally left behind in Chicago when his family takes a trip to Paris for Christmas. 

While his frantic mother (Catherine O’Hara) shuffles to find a way back home to her son, young Kevin is facing a battle of his own, as two burglars (Joe Pesci & Daniel Stern) attempt to break into the family’s home. Little do they know that Kevin has a few surprises waiting for them. 

There’s a long list of funny quotes throughout Home Alone, but we’ll narrow it down to some of our favorites. 

When Kevin asks his older brother Buzz (Devin Ratray) if he can sleep in his room to avoid his bed-wetting cousin, Buzz turns to him and says: 

“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my a$$!”

Of course, there’s the classic moment when Kevin realizes that his wish had come true, as he finds himself in an empty house without his brothers, sisters, parents, cousins, and his mean uncle Frank. Kevin, who breaks the fourth wall here, looks into the camera, smiles, and says: 

“I made my family disappear.” 

Finally, in perhaps the fan-favorite line from this holiday classic comes when Kevin, who’s clearly watching a mobster film that he probably shouldn’t be, plays a trick on the pizza delivery boy, matching the film’s vulgar dialogue when responding to the delivery boy.

Upon handing the delivery boy his money & tip through the doggy door, Kevin cues the mobster tape as the main character shouts: 

“Keep the change, you filthy animal.”

It’s a great line, but don’t catch yourself accidentally saying it to your Doordash driver upon the next Chipotle dropoff. 

Elf

Elf, a 2003 Will Ferell vehicle about a North Pole elf realizing that he’s actually a human, was the surprise holiday hit that skyrocketed Ferell’s career from “TV comedian” to “movie star”.

Elf left its audiences with a collection of funny Christmas quotes, which is no surprise given Will Ferell’s comedic background. 

Here are some of our favorite Elf moments: 

When Buddy finally makes it to New York City in search of his real father (James Caan), the film turns into your classic “fish-out-of-water” story with a holiday twist.

Overjoyed with culture-shock, Buddy finds himself doing things that seem unnatural to those around him, even in the way he answers the phone, saying things like: 

“Buddy the elf, what’s your favorite color?”

Don’t worry, of course we’re going to mention the amazing scene where a local toy store manager, played by Faizon Love, announces to store visitors that “Santa” will be arriving tomorrow for pictures. Buddy, who believes this to be the real Santa Claus, shouts in excitement, screaming at the top of his lungs: 

“SANTA! OH MY GOD! Santa, here?! I know him! I know him.”

And of course, you didn’t think we’d forget Tyrion Lannister now, did you?

Author Miles Finch, played by Game of Thrones star Peter Dinklage, arrives to help Buddy’s dad’s story deadline. Buddy, who’s naturally surprised at the size of Finch, believes him to be one of Santa’s elves.

Finch, who becomes more and more annoyed at his comments, taunts Buddy to repeat the name “elf” on last time, to which the room grows quiet as Buddy slips: 

“He’s an angry elf.” 

This leads to a fight where Finch walks out, causing Buddy’s dad to berate & dismiss his son on Christmas Eve. 

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 

1989’s Christmas Vacation was Chevy Chase at the height of his powers, starring in this timeless holiday comedy that acted as the 3rd installment in National Lampoon’s Vacation franchise. 

Where do we even start with this one? 

Hmm, we know! Any dog lovers, here? 

When Clark (Chevy Chase) and his wife’s (Beverly D’Angelo) cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) are admiring the living-room Christmas tree while sipping on eggnog, Eddie gets after his dog for drinking water from the tree holder. Eddie proceeds to tell Clark how his dog loves to h%#p people’s legs, giving Clark a heads up should he fall victim to the pup. 

“A word of warning, though. If he does lay into you, it’s best to just let him finish.”

This comment would’ve left Clark surprised. . . if it wasn’t coming from Cousin Eddie. The same can be said at the dinner table, where Clark gives a family blessing before preparing to carve the turkey. Eddie, excited for the meal, tucks his napkin into the collar of his shirt and says: 

“Save the neck for me, Clark!” 

Shall we keep the cousin Eddie train going? Of course, there’s the infamous “sh&tter’s full” scene, but our favorite has to be Chevy Chase’s big meltdown at the end. 

The highlight of the film comes at a moment when Clark realizes he’s been screwed over by his company’s Christmas bonus, a bonus with which he was planning to buy a pool with. 

Clark, on the verge of erupting, calmly tells his family how the bonus turned out to be a “one-year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club”. We the audience know what’s about to happen, but ignorant cousin Eddie is actually happy for Clark, raising his beer as he toasts: 

“Clark, that’s the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”

Then of course, Chevy Chase’s famous holiday tirade ensues, including famous lines like: “Hallelujah, holy sh*t, where’s the Tylenol?” and “Santa’s . . . gonna find the jolliest bunch of a%$h@oles this side of the nuthouse.”