Where are they now? Your favorite ‘Game of Thrones’ characters

It’s been a dozen years since production on HBO’s hit low-fantasy drama Game of Thrones started. The show first aired eight years ago and started its legendary slow burn from the ice beyond the Wall to the dracarys (dragonfire) of Daenerys Targaryen’s three fire-breathers, taking audiences – and viewership numbers – along an ascendant trajectory to massive success.

We have our reservations about the latter half of the series and were surprised it took nearly everyone else until the trainwreck of season eight to wake up to the fact that the showrunners have much more skill leading a production than they do writing compelling drama.

But let’s put all that aside for the nonce and look twelve years into the future – of the world of Game of Thrones. Where have all our favorite characters ended up in the year 312 AC (“After Conquest” by the Targaryens)? Here’s how we imagine it.

Planetos

Westeros is at peace, while Essos burns in the hottest summer in living memory after the defeat of the Army of the Dead. The power vacuum after Evil Auntie Dany disturbed the delicate political balance in Slaver’s Bay and left in a rush has caused revolutions, wars, and civil wars galore. It’ll take another generation to settle into some semblance of order.

The Free Cities are doin’ fine, though. The Iron Bank of Braavos is still the most powerful institution in the world, especially after draining Westeros of millions of gold coins looted from Highgarden’s old lords, the defeated Tyrells. All hail the lords of finance!

King Brandon I, the Broken

King Bran has matured into his prime gracefully, despite changing the tradition from calling him “Your Grace” to “Your Greenness”, claiming he no longer possesses grace as he is no longer a man. He rules with preternatural objectivity – which means he constantly pisses off nearly everyone. The ideal leader, indeed.

Lord Tyrion Lannister

After continuing to supply King Bran with the poor advice that nearly brought down his previous liege (Auntie Dany) for close to a year, Tyrion was released from his role as Hand of the King and demoted to mere Lord of the Westerlands. Bran wisely chose to recall Lord Davos from the Stormlands to be his new Hand.

Lord Tyrion retired to the ghost-filled corridors of Casterly Rock, taking along his favorite old chef from the Tower of the Hand, who miraculously survived the siege of King’s Landing by hiding in the kitchens below Maegor’s holdfast.

He fell in love with a delightful young country lass and married her a couple years later, and now hates and loves being a dad & lord. Sometimes a dark mood overcomes him and he drinks too much wine – but otherwise he’s happier than ever. Right on track for that spectacular death during an octogenarian beege!

Lord Gendry Baratheon

Gendry was doing fine for his first year as Lord of the Stormlands, simply doing everything Davos recommended. Then the Onion Knight went to be Bran’s new Hand of the King and everything went to sh**. Luckily, the crown really likes Gendry and has lent him a few hundred thousand gold pieces.

Gendry married a fiery Dornish girl (for the dowry) who drives him crazy, and his debt and young children keep him up at night. How he longs for the days when he was broke before the heat of the hearth, with a heavy hammer in his hand. Can’t win ‘em all, bro.

Samwell Tarly

After it was revealed that Sam cheated and bribed his way into his Maester’s chain links, he was dechained and relieved of his position as Grandmaester. He returned to Horn Hill and resolved the leadership crisis there by assuming the mantle of Lord Tarly. He and Lady Gilly lived happily ever after creating heirs for his house – Sam loves being a dad, especially reading stories to the young lords and ladies Tarly. He read it in a book.

Lady Arya Stark

Totally inexperienced sea captain Arya was warned by her brave first mate to take more freshwater on their reckless journey, but she didn’t listen. After sailing west for two months, her ship, The Faceless, hit the doldrums amid the unseasonably warm weather, and everyone on board died of thirst a few weeks later. That’s what happens when assassins try to change careers – cf. Barry.

Littlefinger

Ha, you thought that quick fake trial that went totally against proper Winterfell customs of justice developed over eight thousand years was Lord Baelish’s real end? Nope, that was a Faceless Man merely posing as Littlefinger. Actually, Baelish looks totally different and has been planning in the background the whole time. He’s still working the long game, angling for the non-Iron Throne. Chaos is a ladder!

Lady Sansa Stark

About a year after the end of the TV series, Sansa got a visit from the real Littlefinger, who had posed as a steward in Winterfell for six months. He murdered her in her own quarters and got her cousin and his protege, Freddy Stark, on the throne as King in the North. King Freddy and Baelish planned for ten years to take over the Vale and the Riverlands, and are just about to launch their first attacks. Winning!

Jon Snow a.k.a. Aegon VI Targaryen

Jon found another freckly wildling touched by fire and built a house where Craster’s Keep once stood, and they already have fourteen non-inbred kids. He’s usually exhausted, but happy – and he still looks confused all the time. At least he’s not being attacked by the dead.

Tormund

About a month after the events of the Game of Thrones finale, Tormund almost choked to death on fermented goat’s milk. After that, he swore off drinking and fighting, unless in self-defense. He fell in love with and kidnapped a very tall young Thenn woman a couple years later and they have six big children living in their igloo compound. Ginger minge and a warm bed.

Drogon

Drogon was last seen in the Dothraki sea hunting gazelles. He’s really big, and always flies away when people come near. Legend has it he’s working on his second novel. Roar!

Lord Commander Ser Brienne of Tarth

Brienne does her duty day in and day out in the Red Keep, guarding King Bran and leading the other five knights in the Kingsguard. She may never marry and doesn’t have a problem with that. Duty above all.

Lord Bronn Blackwater

Bronn was dismayed to learn the entire Highgarden treasury had been looted by Cersei before he got there, but was delighted when the taxes after the extraordinary harvests reaped in the Reach after the mild Winter of 301 AC came in.

Bronn decided to buck Faith of the Seven tradition and marry multiple wives, taking it back to the old school a la the founder of Highgarden, Garth Greenhand. By 312 AC, he’s got eleven wives and sixteen children & counting. Lord Frey, eat your heart out. (Literally, in a pie.) He doesn’t even have to murder many people anymore.

Lord Robin Arryn

Stylish, handsome Robin started his own fashion line and has become the lord who dresses all Westeros. He’s taking his time settling down, still known as the Six Kingdoms’ most eligible bachelor. Livin’ the dream!

Grey Worm

Grey Worm and the rest of the Unsullied were attacked by the notoriously xenophobic and warlike residents of Narth as soon as they arrived a couple weeks after sailing out of Blackwater Bay, being overwhelmed by far superior numbers. Grey Worm died with Missandei’s name on his smiling lips as he looked forward to meeting her again in the afterlife. The End.